Chores for twins does not always mean teamwork

I have posted before about the Twofer having certain jobs around the house. What I have not told you is how I realized that twins do not always work best as a team.

Take for example the dreaded dishwasher.


I hate emptying the dishwasher.
My husband will do it reluctantly, and only when he damn well pleases which is often 24-48 hours after I've asked him. (I used to think his delay in emptying the dishwasher was a big F.U. to me. Now I know it's not about me, it's about the dishwasher. But that's another post. One that requires some level of therapy.)

I was happy hand over the job of emptying the dishwasher (with some supervision) to our twins. At first they were happy to help. Then it got stale, because our dishwasher is run every single day. Sometimes twice a day.



This great idea of mine was turning into a major referee job because the girls were fighting over every little thing...who did more, who wanted to do the silverware, who got stabbed with a fork, you get the idea.

I tried, "If M won't help than you just do your share and she'll have to do the rest."

I tried, "L, you do the silverware and dishes, M you do the pots/pans and glasses."

I tried splitting the racks, with one on top rack duty, the other, bottom.

I realized the dishwasher was better left to one person.

So now we keep track (sort of, you know I'm really bad at that) on a calendar, who emptied the dishwasher the day before.
They each get a day off, which makes it less of a battle when it's their turn.
Not only that, but they are thankful (I know, right?) when my husband picks up the slack!

As for filling the dishwasher, I still take that one because I'm the only one capable of loading the thing with any precision. (The same can be said for packing the car when we go away but again, that's another post because it involves exploring male/female roles in marriage and how my household seems to be a little skewed.)

Bottom line here folks, if you have twins, or even 2 or more kids, keep the chores separate. Each child can be held accountable for their quality of work, and they can be rewarded justly. Plus, they can learn teamwork on the soccer field where there are professional referees.

Just my 2 cents.
Janine

Make me a STAR Baby!

So I'm currently participating in 15 Days of Marketing over at JessicaKnows.com. Each day I'm learning more and more about branding ScaryMom and marketing this blog.

Today is Day 3 and our homework was to take a risk and try vlogging (video blogging) or write a "confessional" post so that my true personality can come shining through. Since I've already blasted people on this blog and thrown my family under the bus a few times, I figured I'd try a nice peppy video with lots of smiles.

So here goes. Watch, criticize, and learn something new. But take note: I wouldn't have to do this if y'all would just tell your friends to read my blog and click on the ads now and then.



Sharing the good with the bad,
ScaryMom

Well it was bound to happen!

At just 5 years old, my kids often have more cash on them than me.
I needed to prepay the neighbor kid to take care of our cats and mail while we're gone this weekend...I didn't even have $10 on me.
I saw the little Hello Kitty wallet sitting there just brimming with ones...

ScaryMom "Um, L? Can I borrow some money?"

L, "For what?"

ScaryMom, "I have to pay the neighbor to take care of Fatcat and Franklin while we're gone."

L, after a long pause watching me sweat it out... "Yes. But don't forget to pay me back!"

(Just another reason I'm glad we decided to give them a small allowance.)

Anyone else had to break into their kid's piggy bank yet? Be honest...
ScaryMom

Save your money or find an agent and put that drama to work!

How timely. Right on the heels of talking about responsibility, The Parent Bloggers Network has a contest for those who write about when to teach kids about money (prize: an iPhone).

In addition, Capital One has launched a new online Moneywise eLearning tool
to help families learn about managing money including ways to bring their kids into the discussion.

Well, we here in the Scary household recently did just that - we talked to the Twofer about money and we came up with a way to teach them about it....we put them to work!

OK, Ok really, we assigned chores to them and started tracking on a weekly basis. It is somewhat coincidental that around this time we made the decision to pay the Twofer a weekly allowance...but they are not actually getting paid to do the chores (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

The Twofer turned 5 this Spring and after asking around, we decided to give them each $1 per week. We actually give them $2 a week and $1 of that goes into our "charity bowl" and they get to keep the other $1. The "charity bowl" will be opened closer to Christmas and together we'll decide how to donate that money (and hopefully teach the Twofer just how lucky they are to have what they have).

Why pay?
I really do believe that kids should help out around the house not for money, but as members of the family. We also wanted them to start learning the value of money. Not how many quarters are in a dollar, but what a dollar can get you...or these days, can't get you.

In short, we wanted them to understand why they don't get an ice cream every time we're at the pool.

Lessons learned.
Now when we're out at a store and they see something they want, we say, "How much money do you have?"
They are learning that the neighborhood ice cream truck is a ripoff ($3 for a bomb pop) compared to the snack bar at the pool ($.80 for an Italian ice). And that a Hannah Montana magazine provides hours more entertainment than a necklace that breaks within 5 minutes of wearing it.

Oh don't worry. I'm not that Scary. I treat them to an ice cream sandwich now and then and of course provide them with the necessities: shoes, clothes and riding lessons (I gave in to that because we are no longer paying for school).

The fact remains: learning about money, it's value, and the importance of saving is a lesson that can't be learned too early.
Check out the Capital One tool and fingers crossed that I get one of the 3 iPhones!

Saving it for later,
ScaryMom

Now this got me thinking....

We've been working to teach the Twofer what it means to be responsible. Some of the things we came up with:
1) As a member of this family you have certain chores you have to do.

2) As a student, friend, and sister you are responsible for your actions. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

3) As a family that has so much to be grateful for, we put money in a "charity bowl" every week and together we'll decide how to donate that at Christmastime.

4) As the Twofer of a neurotic mother with co-dependent tendencies...we've learned that when all is said and done, you don't have control over any other person, place or thing*. The only thing you can control is yourself. (*If you'd like to weigh in on this statement see my Poll to the right)

My Biggest Responsibility
(L & M at 6 months)

So when Mom Central gave me the opportunity to learn about the Liberty Mutual Responsibility Project and share it with others, I was thrilled.

When I got to the site an started watching the short films, I was completely wowed.

And when the Twofer watched one of the films, they told me about a saying at school: " We are Responsible, Respectful and Ready to Learn". Interesting.

This project started when Liberty Mutual ran a commercial showing "people doing things for strangers". They received thousands of emails and from that came the idea for the website and a series of short films to get people thinking and talking about responsibility.

The Films

• Very web friendly
• Most are 3-8 minutes long
• Professionally produced and directed

Some, like Hot Seat, had me laughing out loud! (If you've ever worked in an office and got stuck with the bum chair you'll be chuckling too.) Watch them with your family in place of game night, or have a screening with your friends.

The Blog
Here you'll find great topics about responsibility to generate a lively discussion with your kids, co-workers, students, bookclub, in-laws and anyone else you care to engage.

What's Your Policy?
We are asked, "What's your idea of a responsible _____" and the blank can be filled in with things like friend, athlete, celebrity, parent, school principal, and currently the most discussed - chef.
Really? Yes!
Apparently people feel very strongly about giving their opinion on how to be a responsible chef! (My theory? Everyone has done their "time" in a restaurant and we know you NEVER send food back. Not if you plan to eat it again!)
Once you give your opinion, people can agree with you, or you can agree with someone else's statement.

Check it out www.responsibilityproject.com and feel free to vote in my Responsibility Poll on whether we are responsible for other people's feelings.

Here's big Twofer Thumbs Up to Liberty Mutual for recognizing the need to continue the dialogue that started with their commercial, and for developing a fun, entertaining way to do just that.

Responsibly yours,
ScaryMom

This post sponsored by:

First we learn to ride a horse, then a bike.

We all knew it was in their blood. What with Mr. Scary's love of thoroughbreds and his occupation which often takes him and the Twofer to the track to visit, feed, and in general talk horses.

ScaryMom and M walking Dallas to the riding ring
(notice the fear in my gritted teeth?)

But was it asking too much to think my kids would learn to ride a 2-wheel bike before learning to ride a beast that weighs as much as a small car???

Apparently so.M riding Dallas like a pro

For years L & M knew that the horse center near us offered riding lessons starting at age 5. And for the past year and a half they have been counting down the days until they turned 5 and could take riding lessons. I successfully held them off through the summer, but come fall, there was no stopping them.

L holding Mozart
(and showing him who's boss)

What I didn't know is that there is a fair amount of parent participation in riding. Oh yes, see I am responsible for tacking up the horse (I don't even know if I used that term correctly). I have to secure the bridal, reigns, stirrups, and girth belt thingy that holds the saddle on. The girls are simply too short to do it right now, but they are supposed to learn by watching me every week. (So really, I'm paying over $300 per kid to learn how to be a ranch hand.)

However you can see that within the first 30 minute lesson, they learned to climb onto, as well as start, stop, turn, and otherwise "drive" their new friends named Dallas and Mozart. And I have to say they walked away with huge smiles, and feeling like they could rule the world...not that we need much more of that in our house but I guess it's good starting at a new school and all.

Giddyup Mozart. Ride 'em L!

Am I crazy to let them do this? Let me know by answering my poll in the column to the right.

I'll check results after I'm done mucking out the stalls.

ScaryMom

Chores? Or am I breaking child labor laws?

The list of chores is neither long, nor difficult.
The fact that I got rid of my cleaning lady, and now actually pay my kids to help is what concerns me.

I'm really trying to look at my motivation.
Note: another of my neuroses is thinking everything I do is going to screw up my kids

My reasoning to them (and to myself) is this:
We are a family.
Each member of the family has a job.
If I (or Mr. Scary) have to do ALL the work, then we don't have time to do fun things like go to the park, the pool, etc.

The fact that they earn "an allowance" is a way for them to start learning about the value of money. RIGHT?

Or am I just trying to get some help cleaning my house for $4 a week?

So far I know of only one other family (and I know lots of families) where the kids have chores...and get paid. And I keep hearing from my kids that no one else they know has "jobs".

But then I think of how cute (and proud) they were when we took them to Target and they shopped for themselves (travel pillow for M, Hannah Montana magazine for L) using money they had earned, and stuffing the change back into their wallets.

And I think - maybe I'm not so scary.

ScaryMom