Twincident #147: A broken swing can be fun with a twin

Did they break the swing on purpose? I have no idea - but they did seem to be having a lot of fun.




Have your kids had more fun with something after it broke?
Do tell!
Janine

Before the CAbi Clothing Party is the Twofer Fashion Show

Twice a year I host a CAbi (Carol Anderson by Invitation) clothing party at my house and invite friends and neighbors over to shop.

It works much like a Silpada, or Pampered Chef party where the rep brings samples to your house, gives a little demonstration, and then people shop afterward. The items purchased are ordered and shipped to the hostess about a week after the party. The hostess then distributes the items to her friends.
The hostess does not mind because her friends' shopping enabled her to get 5 items at half price and even a few, in this case, CAbi dollars - which means at least one of her items was free!

This time the Twofer, having been through the drill before, knew there was a little show and they wanted to be a part of it. And so my CAbi rep (and now dear friend) Charlie indulged them about 30 minutes before the moms came and put them each in a few CAbi outfits and let them do their best spin on the catwalk. Here's what happend:


Watch out Tyra! These girls just might be American Next Top Twin Models!
Janine

Twincident #146 "Not without my sister!" - Twins stick together

It Finally Happened

After 5 years I realized the Twofer really do have a "need" for each other that is stronger than your average sibling bond.

Maybe at 5 they are mature enough to understand their need. Or maybe at 5 they can better express how they feel. Whatever it is the other day I was telling L about a playdate she had coming up and I heard, plain as day,
"Not without my sister!"

Me, "Since when?"

L, "I won't go unless M goes too."

And for the first time ever, I emailed the little girl's mom and asked if she could take both of my girls because the one was refusing to go without the other. I offered her Twofer the Price of One!

Something about this was different.

The new friend is a very shy and quiet little girl and she is in a different kindergarten class. This is exactly why I thought L would be a great friend to have. L alone is a little quieter, and sometimes shy herself. Most people don't know this because she can be riled into a silly, goofy, and loud little thing...with the help of her sister.

Also, I believe this is the first time L would be going to a new friend's house, alone. Usually she meets new friends at school, or we have them over to our house. I think she was just very uncomfortable going home with someone she didn't know very well and she realized that could be resolved by having her sister come too. Strength in numbers. Hmm, now where have I written about that before?

The other mother graciously accepted the invitation for her to take both of my children. (I would have had her daughter to my house but that day I was off being fabulous at a certain Fashion Show in New York.)

The Result?

The girls had a BLAST and by BLAST I mean supercalifragilstickexpialidocious.
Because it was the day before Valentine's Day they each came home with a huge heart balloon, cards they had made at the friend's house, and wanting to have another playdate with their new friend AND the new friend's older brother!

I definitely don't want to make a habit of them going on playdates together. I want them to continue to learn how to make friends on their own. But you know, maybe having your sister there is just one of the benefits of growing up a twin, and maybe that's not such a bad thing to have.

Janine

Chores for twins does not always mean teamwork

I have posted before about the Twofer having certain jobs around the house. What I have not told you is how I realized that twins do not always work best as a team.

Take for example the dreaded dishwasher.


I hate emptying the dishwasher.
My husband will do it reluctantly, and only when he damn well pleases which is often 24-48 hours after I've asked him. (I used to think his delay in emptying the dishwasher was a big F.U. to me. Now I know it's not about me, it's about the dishwasher. But that's another post. One that requires some level of therapy.)

I was happy hand over the job of emptying the dishwasher (with some supervision) to our twins. At first they were happy to help. Then it got stale, because our dishwasher is run every single day. Sometimes twice a day.



This great idea of mine was turning into a major referee job because the girls were fighting over every little thing...who did more, who wanted to do the silverware, who got stabbed with a fork, you get the idea.

I tried, "If M won't help than you just do your share and she'll have to do the rest."

I tried, "L, you do the silverware and dishes, M you do the pots/pans and glasses."

I tried splitting the racks, with one on top rack duty, the other, bottom.

I realized the dishwasher was better left to one person.

So now we keep track (sort of, you know I'm really bad at that) on a calendar, who emptied the dishwasher the day before.
They each get a day off, which makes it less of a battle when it's their turn.
Not only that, but they are thankful (I know, right?) when my husband picks up the slack!

As for filling the dishwasher, I still take that one because I'm the only one capable of loading the thing with any precision. (The same can be said for packing the car when we go away but again, that's another post because it involves exploring male/female roles in marriage and how my household seems to be a little skewed.)

Bottom line here folks, if you have twins, or even 2 or more kids, keep the chores separate. Each child can be held accountable for their quality of work, and they can be rewarded justly. Plus, they can learn teamwork on the soccer field where there are professional referees.

Just my 2 cents.
Janine

A peek inside playtime with twins

It's no surprise that as twins, the Twofer seem to have their own unique way of playing with each other. They already know the object of the game, the characters involved, and the adventure they are going on as they wander down the stairs with their walkie-talkies, binoculars, and sunglasses.

It's a daily dose of improv in my house:

M/Chicosay: "Calling Toofree, calling Toofree. Where's the mazradeur we need? Have you located it yet?"

L/Toofree: "It's in the clubhouse. I'm heading there now. Can you meet me Chicosay? Bring the flashlights!"

They also have designated roles that they play which doesn't really seem fair to me, but what do I know? I'm just the 3rd wheel they call Mom.

M's List of Roles:
Mommy
Princess
Queen
Fairy
Baby

While L is always the:
Daddy
Pony
Dog
Cat
and Worker

Mommy's Role:
Costumes, Props and Craft Service
(mend dress-up clothes, get flashlights working, serve Go-Gurts)

Sometimes they are both fairies, adventurers, etc. Still, for the most part they have reached an agreement on this without ever discussing it. An older sibling will engage the younger one in a particular role. With twins (my twins, anyway) they seem to automatically know.

And they seem happy like that...usually for at least an hour.
Nothing lasts forever.

Janine (head of the drama department)

Twincident #145 - differences

This twincident isn't the destructive kind, it's the constructive kind.

It's also a good example of how we have learned to embrace the Twofer's differences.

Each month they bring home a 'family project' from school.
This month the project was to decorate a very large gingerbread man that was cut out of brown paper, then write a few sentences about it.

L, never one for coloring in the lines, quickly decided she wanted to write about a gingerbread dog. The gingerbread man was clearly the shape of a man..not a dog.
But we added ears, a tail, paws, and a leash and by George when we were done, it looked like a dog!

Here is her gingerbread dog and accompanying story:

I asked Mommy to bake a gingerbread dog. We gave him lollipop ears, a marshmallow tail, and chocolate nose. He was so nice that I did not eat him. His name is Bruno

M, always quick to feminize things (I say go for it! Girl Power!) turned hers into a gingerbread girl. And when I say girl, I mean girly girl (oh just wait for her story). With my help, M gave the gingerbread girl a dress, shoes, necklace, earrings, nail polish (not on at the time of photo), and red licorice hair.

Once there was a gingerbread girl. She went to the mall. She saw her favorite dress and her favorite shoes and a pair of earrings and a jewelry store. She saw a place where she could get her nails done. Her name was Alyssa.

By the way, I can count on one hand the number of times I've taken the girls to mall in the last 3 years. I also do not spend loads of time on my wardrobe, or makeup. So I have to say that this girly thing of hers is just part of who she is, and for once, not entirely my fault.

I will take full credit for the shoes.

Sometimes I wonder - have we encouraged them to be different or have we encouraged them to be themselves and they are simply that...two very different people?

In the end, I'm happy if they are happy with themselves.

Peace, love, and differences,
Janine

ScaryMom gets dissed hard

I've just spent the last hour looking for photos I took with my cell phone camera of the Twofer riding their bikes sans training wheels and came across a video I took with my cell phone this summer.

Here I am trying to capture a wonderful summer moment and I get a very clear shoulder snub. Is that a girl thing or what? Even so, with twins, the mom (or primary care giver) is often the third wheel. I'm also often left out, left behind, and the butt of the joke.

You wonder why I call myself ScaryMom?
But I'm also the adult, so I get to bitch about it here and torture them prom night with a video montage.

In this short and very crappy quality video we are on the train at Cabin John Regional Park which is a great park if you ever happen to be in the area. I thought I was doing something very nice. Apparently I am already and embarrassment to my 5-going-on-13 year olds.

Last time I do something nice...
ScaryMom

Twincident #144...they try to burn the house down

Full disclosure:
1) I have not really kept track of every Twincident. I started this blog way too late in their lives and I had to start somewhere. (I like the number 4 and I know there have been more than 100 over the past 5 years and so I'm starting here with #144. Some day I'll count back to 1 and list all the other twincidents.)

2) In case you haven't noticed, I can be a little dramatic...they weren't actually trying to burn the house down. But that doesn't mean they couldn't have done it!

It all started with 2 brand new matching Penguin Webkinz, given to them by a friend of mine (who is also very understanding and will not at all mind finding out about her gift by reading it in this blog).

The Twofer wanted to warm up one of their chilly little friends and decided the top of the light in their room would be just great! So there Fluffy sat...for what I can only guess is at least 2 hours. When they remembered he was on there and pulled him off, a little patch of fur stuck to the bulb and Fluffy felt like a loaf a bread just out of the oven!

Fluffy and the lightbulb

Thankfully Fluffy wasn't left long enough to ignite, and after a real ScaryMom moment in which my voice shrilled high enough to attract the neighborhood dogs, we all learned a lesson. I will remember to do a quick walk-through the house before leaving for the day to turn all lights off. And the Twofer will not experiment with anything they even think might be hot, or electrical.

This Twincident is dedicated to GrandpaScary who is also our Guardian Angel and has saved the Twofer and our family from certain disaster over the years. It is also dedicated to Great-GrandmaScary who insisted I learn how to sew and thus is responsible for Fluffy's repair job that I will perform later in the week.

Peace,
SM

Can I wish that they would wish differently?

What does a 5 year old wish for?

Today at one of Yoko Ono's Wish Trees we each took one of the slips of paper (these look ironically like enlarged price tags) and a pencil, and started to jot down our wishes.

When I asked E & E what they wanted to wish for I was, at first, a little disappointed:

"New dolls!"
"More Webkinz!"

Was I really thinking they'd come up with something like "World Peace" or "No Hunger"? I mean, they have no idea the world they live in isn't peaceful. They've never experienced true hunger.

I've decided that what we wish for really depends on our life experience.
And so while their wishes seem shallow, it's a good thing (for now) and means they really have all they need.

It's our job as ScaryMom and Dad to teach them that not everyone is so lucky, and that may just alter what they wish for in the future.

For the record:
L settled on "I wish I had a bunny".
M chose "I wish I had more dolls. "
ScaryMom would like to consult with her dad one last time.
ScaryDad offered something unprintable in a family blog such as this!

Twofer Thumbs Up to Yoko and her idea/experiment to keep Lennon's Imagine fresh in our minds, and for making us active participants with Wish Trees all over the world.

Peace,
The Scarys

Glue Sticks and Crayons and Jeans, oh my!

We had our FIRST real back-to-school shopping trip ever.

When L & M were 2 and starting preschool we went and got them backpacks and lunch boxes, and maybe a few clothes. But they didn't really get it. Plus, we've they have been happy to wear the cute, trendy hand-me-downs we get from my niece (shout out to you Jules!)

These days, it's a whole new game.

Grammy L (who is our primo, number one shopping partner) is visiting and offered to "treat" L & M to some shopping at Target. We got everything on the kindergarten shopping list, and then some.

When we moved into the clothing department all hell broke loose.
L is running around wanting to play in the clothing racks.
M is in ecstasy, drooling at the mouth as she picks out all kinds of tops, pants, skirts, a pink football jersey thing (WTF?) and just about anything that might show up in the next High School Musical movie.

As I casually steer her back to more age-appropriate items I realize the girl has a sense of style like nothing I've seen before. And, dare I say, I'm impressed! And definitely scared. She'll be the girl who can spot a pair of Prada shoes or a Marc Jacobs bag 100 yards away.

L, on the other hand, is tired of standing, and wants to just sit on the bench in the dressing room. Thank goodness she has a twin to do all the choosing! Of course we no longer do matching, but they still like the similar-but-different look sometimes (same shirt, different color).

When we got home M starts showing daddy the new clothes and shoes.
L grabs her new HSM notebook and write this (with some spelling help from me), "I wish I had a pony that can talk."

SIGH

And so as we continue to celebrate their differences, a big thank you to Grammy L for the $235 "treat". Could we possibly be done with back-to-school shopping?

ScaryMom

Comparisons

I don't have a sister. I have a brother. And there are days I'm thankful for that. Sure, we fought. We competed. But it was different, because we were different. We were different ages, we were different sexes, and we accepted each other as siblings and everyone around us expected us to have different friends, hobbies, and the like.

For L & M it's trickier.

They are the same sex, the same age, and while they look different - this has meant they have ALWAYS been compared.

The really 'smart' folks say things like:
"WHY does this one have curly hair and this one straight?"
"Oh look, this is the happy one..."
"I can see who the smart one will be!"

For me, the neurotic mother who projects 10 years ahead, you might as well be saying:
"WHY is this one more popular?"
"Oh look, this is the fat one.."
"I can see who the dumb one is!"

I can only hope that now as they are starting to compare themselves to each other (as well as their friends), they find a way to appreciate their differences, be thankful of what they have, and respect themselves.

I guess that's where I come in huh?
Scary thought.

ScaryMom

It's a 'tude thing

I know, I know.
They are 5. They are testing my limits and that's natural. And part of that test is The Attitude.
By The Attitude I mean:
1) an increasing use of the word NO
2) a decrease in the use of the word Please
3) the ability to become blind, deaf and mute when asked to do anything that even resembles a chore

But with twins, they encourage each other to continue the bad behavior....they work together to distract me from what I want them to do...and before I know it, it's a rebellion!

OK, deep breath.
It's really not all that bad. I mean, they are girls, not boys. But I feel the urgency to nip it in the bud before they are 16 and stealing the car keys and...well, you know what we all did.

And so I realized I need to turn to the parenting guidebook that gave me the validation, the direction, and let's face it, the backbone to stand up to these half-decade hooligans running wild in my head and in my home.

Twofer Thumbs Up for the book The Blessings of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel.

I discovered this book at my sister-in-law's house. She had picked it up at a friend's house and never returned it. I picked it up at her house and got on Amazon to order a copy faster than you can say "time out". I have since dished advice, the Amazon link, and actual copies of this book to more parents than I can count. My current copy lives at my neighbors house...and I'm heading over there tomorrow to claim my sanity.

Basically, this book reminds me that the best thing I can do for my kids is to set boundaries for them (to push but ultimately respect), let them learn by making their own mistakes, and that sometimes it's ok to say, "Because I say so!"

After a few pages a real sense of peace comes to me and I'm not so scary.

Just Like an Old Married Couple

Since vacation (which was great!) the girls have been getting used to just having each other. We've been to the pool which helps and I'm trying to schedule some separate play dates. But until camp starts (next week - hurrah!) they are mostly stuck with each other.
And like an old married couple, they fight and forget why.
Let's listen in, shall we?

L: "Mommy, M keeps calling me a liar. This day and all day yesterday and the other day."

Me: "Look L, ignor her, or find another way to deal with it."

M: "I'm going to ignore L Mommy."

Me: "All I can say is you guys better find a way to work it out. All you have is each other so my suggestion is to be nice to each other."

M: "Wait, why were we angry again?"

L: "Because I said you broke the pink thing and you said you didn't."

M: "Oh yea. You want some of my watermelon?"

L & M's Fabulous 5th Birthday Bash (A survival guide)

How to throw a party for 40+ kids
without losing your mind... or one of the kids!

Thank You to my helpers!
My family, friends, and other parents who helped collect presents, pour drinks, cut cake, watch over the chaos on the swing set, roundup the escapees, and in general be everywhere I couldn't be while Daddy took over 800 photos (the miracle of digital cameras).


We had perfect weather.
After days of rain I was thankful that we could be outside where everyone actually fit. And mysteriously the mosquitoes took the day off.



Two cakes for 2 little Girls.
I let L & M each pick out their own cake AND made the crowd sing twice. I think they were thrilled to have their own moment of glory and their own candles to blow out. And a bonus...I actually had enough cake!












Another TWOFER....2 DJs came instead of one!
Twofer Thumbs Up to Charlie and Patrick at Unique Dreams DJs who were not only really sweet, but got the kids dancing and jumping for 2 hours straight. They handled the prizes, they helped manage the timing for the cake, they even turned the traditionally chaotic pinata into organized fun!


There was only one real ScaryMom moment...
When I tossed the last of the candy and realized I'd survived. I did a celebratory dance and anyone who saw me would agree it was a wee bit scary how happy I actually was ;)!

Kindergarten Orientation update

1. we were late
2. they are the ONLY twins this year
3. the three of us are readheads

Needless to say we stood out and I'm sure there's a little "X" next to their names already.
So now I guess I'll have to really amp up the volunteering come September.

But at least it's FREE :) :) :)!

SM

It doesn't matter if you're on the right track...

....you'll still get run over if you don't keep moving.

That was always my favorite quote and to show you how much I liked it, I used it in my senior blurb for my high school yearbook. Thank God I didn't choose my number two, "Here she come now sayin mony mony...". How funny to think I probably spent days coming up with just the right stuff to mention in that blurb and now half of it means nothing to me.

So I have joined the blogging scene to keep moving forward, and to keep memories of my girls in a place that doesn't give me paper cuts and sticky fingers. This will also be a great place to direct their future prom dates to let them know I can embarrass them publicly so they'd better behave. I figure I have about 11 years to generate enough readers to make it a substantial threat.

In addition, I can stop sending lengthy emails to my family and friends detailing the latest adventures of L and M and my (often poor) attempts at guiding them through the maze of questions, friends, school, and sibling rivalry.

But for the 2 readers out there (you know who you are mom and DH) I promise lots of good, juicy stories (past and present) and drama. With 2 little girls there's always drama.

It can be scary to think of raising two girls in this crazy world. And sometimes their antics turn me into a
ScaryMom