Someone get me a Stop-Growing pill quick!

L and M 2003

I'm a slow learner. When people told me time would fly when I had kids I thought they were just trying to make me feel better because they knew I'd be up all night with newborn twins. During those early days time stood completely still.

Even as the girls entered preschool I didn't think time had passed any faster than normal. They were still little, still had funny ways of saying things, and still fit comfortably on my lap.

It has taken me five, almost six years to finally learn what people are talking about when they say time flies once you have kids. They are talking, of course, about those angry little men that come out in the wee hours and fast forward all the clocks in my house.

Those little men have made it impossible for M to fit comfortably on my lap, her skinny legs crunched up or dangling off, and my legs going numb from the weight.
My innocent little girls now come home from school talking about boys, and which 5th graders are getting boobs throwing me into a tailspin of neurotic 'what-if' thinking.

L and M 2009

I will not let this go on without a fight!
I will develop a Stop-Growing pill that will not only keep my little girls 5 forever, it will keep my rear-end from expanding.
I will make millions, I will have a sort-of-ok ass, and I will have all the time in the world to enjoy it!


Janine