What's it like to get married on Halloween?

Mr. & Mrs. Scary

10 years ago today some of the strangest things happened...

A girl dressed up as Pocahontas came to the bridal suite and I thought she was going to sing...but she was there to do my makeup.

Drag queens dressed my dad in earrings and a feather boa while they waited for the stylists to finish with my bridal party.

A woman dressed as a bride showed me around the ballroom so I could see the tables all set up.

ScaryMom and "other" Halloween bride

The cocktail hour became cocktail 2 hours because the food was great, the jazz music was soothing, and everyone was enjoying it.

My new husband twirled me around the dance floor like a pro and we nailed the dip at the end.

Dancing with the stars

My dad gave the most heartwarming, sentimental, and tear jerking toast...to my mother, "his bride of 32 years".

I did my best Tina moves on stage with the band when they sang "Proud Mary".

My husband got up and danced with the band when they played "The Way You Do the Things You Do" - Jerry Garcia style.

Masks of all kinds appeared around 11:00pm and I think people actually got up to do the Monster Mash.

A Jr. Monster

My 85 year old grandparents somehow agreed to come and enjoyed themselves. This was the last major trip of their lives.

I watched my dad do his signature dance move, "the mojo" one too many times.

Oh no, here comes the Mojo!

Really drunk trick-or-treaters hopped on the wedding busses that took the guests back to the hotel.

A life-size cut-out of Austin Powers greeted people at the morning-after brunch, "Hello Baby!"

For me, it was the greatest weekend of my life. We spent too much money on it, but we have memories and stories to last a lifetime. People are still talking....

Happy Anniversary to us Mr. Scary! I love you.
Mrs. ScaryMom

This post is dedicated to the only other man in my life, my Dad. He always loved a good party and lived his too-short life to the fullest. I miss him every day.

It's not that I don't love my kids....

I know what you are thinking, "What kind of mother starts out a statement like that?" Let me explain...

This past weekend I got to enjoy the pleasure of taking care of no one...but myself.
I went up to a friend's cabin in the Poconos and enjoyed time with my college friends. No twins, no husband, no internet.

For the first time in a long time my first thought was not about the Twofer, what they were doing, or what I can feed them for breakfast.
It was about ME for an entire weekend.

The only whining I heard was from the wind outside.

The only fight I witnessed was between my friend, and the cork stuck in the bottle of wine.

I ate my good 60% chocolate without hiding behind a door (I'm not wasting good chocolate on the Twofer).

And I swore like a sailor and loved it.

Getting there I was so Scary, that when my friend bought her kids "trip gifts" I actually said, "My gift to the twins is that I actually come back from the trip".

ScaryMom (far left) and friends

But by the end of the weekend I had softened. I actually came home Sunday a changed woman. Unplugged, de-stressed, and ready to take on the mound of laundry and the backlog of emails without hardly a palpitation.

And, dare I say, I came back a little less scary.

With that, I'll do a quick Let it Go on Tuesday. Today I'm letting go of:

1. The pressure to celebrate 10 years of marriage in a BIG way when all we really want to do is go out for a great meal and watch a movie.

2. The fear I have watching the twins riding a horse that is trotting...with no hands!

3. The fact that there are only 24 hours in a day and I need to sleep for at least 7 of those.

What are you letting go of?
ScaryMom

This isn't something you see everyday

I read about this in the local paper but finally saw it with my own eyes - a homemade electric car!



The woman's husband made it for her to use on quick trips around town. Now that gas is dropping along with the temperature, I wonder if she'll stash it for the winter?

I like the idea of something simple for all the running around I do, but there's something very Flintstones about this one and I don't know if I'm secure enough to really use it.
I'd have to pimp it up with some fringe, rims, and a shiny grill. Definitely paint it black.

Any ideas?

ScaryMom

A Kid’s party with no gifts? Think of the trees we’d save!

OK, so this is really cool. I came across this company on twittermoms and had to give them a little plug because it's such a cool idea!

I've mentioned before that kid's birthday parties (including my own bash for the twfoer) can often get over-the-top. And I can't even begin to think about how eco-UNfriendly that 5-year party was! Well ECHoage can help parents make their child’s party a little greener, a lot less messier, and helps engage ALL participants in a discussion about giving. Plus, the birthday boys and girls are loving it because they get to pick one or two BIG gifts and they FEEL GOOD about their choices.

Here’s the scoop:
When you sign up to ECHOage your party you pick an online invitation design, pick a charity, and invite your guests. Guests are encouraged to give a secure online gift of money instead of a wrapped present when they RSVP. ECHOage then pools the payments and sends half to the charity you chose. The other half is sent back to you to purchase one BIG gift for your child.

Here's why I find this so attractive (and y'all know how I love to make lists)

• Greener, Cleaner, and Nicer Online invitations mean less paper.
• Fewer packaged gifts means less paper, plastic, and packaging to discard.
• Guests have the opportunity to learn about charity and the gift of giving to others instead of bringing a wrapped present.
• Birthday boys and girls get to choose which charity will benefit from their generosity and leaves them with a really good feeling.
• Secure online giving is easy and parents don’t have to shop, wrap or remember a gift (yea! no more leaving the gift on the kitchen table!).
• Host parents can choose to include their child in choosing the BIG gift, or surprise them at the party!

Resistance?
ECHOage has thought of just about every concern too so check out their FAQs if you are considering an ECHOage party. Even if you aren’t ready to have an ECHOage party, they have great language to use when you sit down and start talking to your kids about charity and what it means to give.

Here’s a big Twofer Thumbs Up to ECHOage for the One Gift-One Cause birthday party option!

Feeling a little more socially responsible,
ScaryMom

Public Service Announcement

Those vacuum packed "bricks" of coffee hold more than the cans.

Coffee grinds

I'm trying to be a little more green and a litte more frugal, so I recycled the empty can and refilled it.

This picture doesn't include the 3 huge scoops that I had put into the coffee maker already and the stuff on the floor.

Love to start the day cleaning. At least it wakes me up a bit.

SM

Dear Know-it-All Mom at ballet class,

I know you think your parenting style is so much greater than mine, especially after only seeing me in action for a total of 45 minutes over a 3 week period.

Your bad-mom radar was going crazy last week because I told my overly dramatic daughter to suck it up when she realized that she (yes, I make her responsible) forgot her ballet shoes. (Note to readers: this is NOT a strict ballet class with a real teacher. There are kids in there that show up with socks on some days so she’s in good company.) But I’m sure YOU thought you had the solution even after the teacher, and I both tried a few things to get her back in there.

And this week it drove you nuts that I didn’t even bring her because, as I explained in a vague way, she was “punished”. Did I hear you correctly when you said you have never punished your daughter even when she has misbehaved???

When I explained that I feel kids need to learn their actions have consequences, I’m pretty sure you flat out disagreed with me.

You don't even know what she did wrong, and I refuse to tell you because I just know it's eating you up inside. (For the benefit of my readers it has something to do with her hitting her sister, and also being a general crank-pot from the minute she got home from school.)

Please don’t try and lecture me. Don’t nose yourself into my business anymore. Can’t we just sit here for 45 minutes and not look at each other? I’m typing this right now as you are wheedling your way into someone else’s business. And she and I are trading looks.

I’m sorry for your daughter because she’s going to learn a very tough lesson one day.

Good luck with that.

ScaryMom

Trying to Let it Go on Tuesdays

Here we are again to this day that is starting to annoy me because lately I just want to be my old usual self: sarcastic, pessimistic, judgmental and ornery.

And yet I promised I'd try at least one meme - and don't ask me what that is. All I know is that it's a term used for weekly posts like Wordless Wednesday that bloggers often participate in. (Any professional bloggers out there want to explain what a meme is in the comments?)

BTW - why does "bloggers" always get red underline for spelling in Blogger? You'd think they'd find a way to fix their check spelling to accept the word for their business.

Anywhoo, here's what I'm trying to Let Go of this Tuesday:

1. The fact that I have too much to do and not enough hands, motivation, or time to do it all.

2. You ever clip a hang-nail and what's left gets irritated and is sooo Goddamn (sorry, but at least I capitalized it) tender everything I do seems to hurt it????? Yea, I have one of those.

3. The continual arguing that goes on between Mr. Scary and I about, get this, 2 degrees on the thermostat! I know I'm not alone here so I'd appreciate a shout-out in the comments.

That's it folks. What are you letting go of?

Bitching and moaning,
ScaryMom

A good friend is....

Just a few I realized after this weekend but I might have to make this a regular piece in this blog. I am so lucky.

A good friend is...

Someone you can hang with after not seeing each other for 3 years without skipping a beat.

Someone who packs up all her daughter's really cool clothes and shoes for your girls and saves you about $300.

Someone who buys you 3 dozen NY bagels because you can't get anything like it at home.

Freezer full of bagels

Need I say more?

Anyone else have a good one?

ScaryMom

My First Ever Blog Bling!

Yea for me!

I know this isn't a big deal to the longtime bloggers and social media mavens out there, but for a bling-virgin like me, it's a BFD and I will remember this moment always.

A BIG Twofer Thank You to hellokittiemomma at The Bon Bon Gazette for popping my bling cherry and bestowing unto me the Brillante Weblog award!


Here are the rules:
1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog

2. The winner must link to the person from whom they received their award.

3. The winner must nominate at least 7 other blogs for an award.

4. The winner must place links to those blogs on their own blog.

5. The winner must leave a message on the blogs of the people they’ve nominated.

Here are my 7 nominations:
1. That Girl Blogs - ni hao ma
2. Be Different Act Normal - so many cute ideas I too will never get to
3. June Cleaver Nirvana - funny and hand-drawn art
4. Suburban Sanity - another, more experienced twin mom
5. Cutie Booty Cakes - wish I knew someone pregnant
6. Surely You Nest - but visit soon cause she's moving to: Green Phone Booth
7. My Tiny Kingdom - the princes in this castle crack me up!

Congrats and Twofer Thumbs Up to the winners!

Not-so ScaryMom when I win awards - eh?
SM

Well it was bound to happen!

At just 5 years old, my kids often have more cash on them than me.
I needed to prepay the neighbor kid to take care of our cats and mail while we're gone this weekend...I didn't even have $10 on me.
I saw the little Hello Kitty wallet sitting there just brimming with ones...

ScaryMom "Um, L? Can I borrow some money?"

L, "For what?"

ScaryMom, "I have to pay the neighbor to take care of Fatcat and Franklin while we're gone."

L, after a long pause watching me sweat it out... "Yes. But don't forget to pay me back!"

(Just another reason I'm glad we decided to give them a small allowance.)

Anyone else had to break into their kid's piggy bank yet? Be honest...
ScaryMom

Despite the car, I'm still Trying to Let it Go Tuesday

How ironic that one of my worst days is a Tuesday - the one day I'm trying to conciously Let It Go. Ha!
Oh well, here's my best effort:

1) The fact that I am soooooo overly tired and simply can't sleep. Take an Ambien and Let it gooooooo.

2) The mountain of laundry I have to do sometime between tomorrow and Thursday morning. Let it goooooo.

3) My hair, it's greyness, and the fact the people have started asking me where my twins get their red hair...um, FROM ME!??!?! Let it gooooooo. (I'll make an appointment next week.)

So there. What are you letting go of?
ScaryMom

Dear Mr. Service Manager at the Car Dealership...

I know you guys probably aren't selling a lot of cars these days what with gas prices where they are and the market tanking.

I know you need to make some money and the fact that most people are fixing their cars rather than buying new ones means service is the best place for you to do that.

I also know, that you know, that once my car is in there (for an oil change and brakes) you have me by the balls so of course I'm not gonna pick it up and bring it somewhere else. (If I had somewhere else I wouldn't have brought it to you in the first place!)

But do you really need to charge me $50 an hour for labor when the part itself is only $89?

Do I really need to get a $1200 quote on work that should really cost only $500 tops?

Do you really need to "recommend" work that, according to my brother-in-law who owned a service shop, is totally unnecessary?

I know I am partly to blame.
Year after year I race it into your shop because we're leaving on one of our 6 hour trips to my mom's house and I like to make sure it's in tip-top shape. Sue me for not wanting to break down again on the New Jersey Turnpike in the pouring down rain in the middle of effing nowhere and having to pee so bad while I wait for the tow truck that my eyes turn yellow!

I'm sorry I don't want to go through that again and yet I still manage to leave the car stuff to the last minute...I'm...not...perfect!

But if you think for a second I'm gonna just freely hand over my credit card today when I pick my car up you are sorely mistaken. I will bitch, moan, grumble, growl, beg, annoy, pester, and harass you because the $40 discount on brakes you so generously offered me just isn't good enough.

At some point I will look at this as a blessing. Because you are finally forcing me to find "someplace" else to go. And once I am there, I will tell all my friends, and I will send you a nasty postcard.

Here's to your $40 discount.
ScaryMom

ScaryMom gets dissed hard

I've just spent the last hour looking for photos I took with my cell phone camera of the Twofer riding their bikes sans training wheels and came across a video I took with my cell phone this summer.

Here I am trying to capture a wonderful summer moment and I get a very clear shoulder snub. Is that a girl thing or what? Even so, with twins, the mom (or primary care giver) is often the third wheel. I'm also often left out, left behind, and the butt of the joke.

You wonder why I call myself ScaryMom?
But I'm also the adult, so I get to bitch about it here and torture them prom night with a video montage.

In this short and very crappy quality video we are on the train at Cabin John Regional Park which is a great park if you ever happen to be in the area. I thought I was doing something very nice. Apparently I am already and embarrassment to my 5-going-on-13 year olds.

Last time I do something nice...
ScaryMom

WARNING...this post will self-destruct in 5 minutes.

Seriously, this post will have to be deleted at some point.

I do my best to be as open and honest in this blog as I can without completely compromising the welfare (and reputation) of my family. That said, because the Towfer offer so much content, they are often highlighted in my posts and I realize that someday that might piss them off...like when they are 16. Although the fact that they already read has me worried that day may come a lot sooner.

So here's the scoop:

It has come to our attention that M can make herself cry.
I don't mean whiny, pouty-face, cry.
I mean full-on, Haley-Joel-Osment-in-The-Sixth-Sense, Halle-Berry-Oscar- acceptance-speech, me-after-the-watching-the-hospital-scene-from-Terms-of- Endearment, body collapsing, shaking, dry-heaving tears.

It is a sight to behold. And the other day she did it over something as silly as no dessert. I literally stood up and gave her a round of applause and saw dollar signs in my eyes.

ScaryMom, "M - that was amazing! You know you can make a LOT of money doing that in front of a camera?!"

M, "Really?" sniff "Why?"

ScaryMom, "Seriously. What do you think about to make yourself cry like that?"

M, "I don't know." sniff "I just think about something sad like you and daddy leaving me or something and I cry."

ScaryMom (ignoring the fact that she thinks about us leaving her) "And you can do that whenever you want?"

M, sniff, sniff nods her head.

ScaryMom, "Can you do it again and show daddy?"

M, sniff "OK.....", and the tears start rolling.

So now it has become a game, but I don't know who's winning.
We've had her do it for some close friends and family members because at first I saw it like any other talent. "Look what M can do!"
But now I'm beginning to wonder because she's cranked up the crying episodes lately and what I thought was 5 yr old drama might just be me being duped!

M starting her magic

If she's this good at playing me at 5, what will she be like at 10? At 13? At 16?
So why not explore (note: not exploit) this talent a little more and see if I can't get her to channel it into a nice Disney movie roll?

Any talent scouts out there looking for cute red-heads with a knack for tears?

Now that I've exposed my daughter, enjoy commenting on my parenting skills (or lack of) because this post won't be up here forever. But I will always be scary.

Cry baby cry,
ScaryMom

Almost forgot to "Let it go on Tuesday"

It's 10:00pm Tuesday, but never to late to let it go, right? In fact, the best time to think about what I will Let Go of is right before I go to bed so I can have a chance at a good, restful sleep.

That said, here's what I will let go of tonight since I can't do anything about it anyway:
1. The amount of chocolate I ate while watching the debate (it's 60% cacao so it's good for me, right?)
2. The fact that I have volunteered for way too much stuff at school already including math lab...and I am terrible at math.
3. My to do list - never ending, always growing.

What are you letting go of?

ScaryMom

The "Promise me, No skydiving parties" Contest!

(Read + Comment = You'll be entered to win!)

Birthday parties have become mini adventures for my kids. One weekend it’s a princess tea party including dress-up, makeup and fashion show. The next weekend it’s breaking boards at a karate party.

What ever happened to some games, some cake, and then watching the birthday boy/girl open presents? I remember THAT WAS the entertainment.

I have to admit that I am guilty of elaborate parties including Elmo, pony rides, and DJs. And I have to admit that a part of me is thrilled the Twofer gets to try so many different things at the expense of someone else (oh please, so are you). Each new experience has left them with a huge smile, and for the most part, a good boost to their self-confidence. Trying new things even when you don’t want to, or are afraid, is a good thing.

Last weekend was no exception. The Twofer was invited to a climbing party at Earth Treks. M flat out refused to even look at the climbing wall. I didn’t push and simply said she needed to be friendly and wish our host a happy birthday…but we were staying. L, as usual, was shy but definitely wanted in on the action.

L taking on some vertical

L donned a hardhat, harness and web of rope and proceeded to stick her fingers and toes onto little nooks and crannies and climb up a fake, 2-story rock wall.

As usual, M’s twin-competitive streak in her won out and she got in that climbing gear quicker than you can say “listenmissy”.

M having changed her mind

She charmed her way to the front of the line and she was up that wall about 4 feet and said, “I’m ready to come down now!”

Well after 3 tries, both girls reached the top of that 2-story wall and I didn’t even have a heart attack. Of course, they were assisted (and safely tethered) by some very nice Earth Treks guys who tried to get me up there. Sorry, my thighs were not meant to be pinched and squeezed into those straps and I don’t need people staring up at my, um, padunk-adunk.

(The best part? The grandmother wanted to try climbing and I got to wear her huge diamond! Karma baby.)

Meemaw's Rocks on my pinky

Last time we hung with this particular boy the girls were tied to a rope and standing on a board about 50 yards from the back of his parents motorboat. Yes, some call it water skiing. I call it starting your 4 year old on the path to the X Games. So I made the mom promise me, No skydiving parties!

Have you thrown or taken your kid to a unique birthday party? Break it down for me (please, 200 words or less) in the comment section (by Friday 10/10/08) and you'll be entered to win a drawing for a Shrinky Dinks book from Klutz!

(Comments left after Friday are appreciated but won't qualify for the drawing.)

ScaryMom

Why I work (in between blogging, Facebook and Twitter)

Lately I find I'm scheduling my work hours around all the other things I love to do (as mentioned above). When the Twofer started kindergarten this year people would ask me, "What are you going to do with all that time?" To which, I responded, "Work more!"
I love working and find it makes me a better mom because I get to break out of that role a few days a week. Plus, I get to feed my hunger for accessories.

Recently Laura at Confessions of a Diet Coke Addict started a weekly blog series featuring a working mom of the week. I submitted a post and was picked for this week! Let's give a big Twofer Thumbs Up to Laura for honoring working moms of all types.

Of course this means I have to start working more so that I continue to qualify.

ScaryMom

Givewaway: 24 Handbags in 24 Hours!

There is a new site about to launch called Handbag Planet and they are going to be giving away a handbag every hour the first day they launch.

All you have to do is go to Handbag Planet, enter with your first name and email (I like that it's limited information) and pick the bag you hope to win (again, nice of them to give us a choice). If you want more chances you can link to their Facebook or Myspace page and, of course, blog about it.

I'm going for the chartreuse colored bag with lots of space. I love that color green. And Mr. Scary will be so happy if I win because then I don't have to go out and buy a new fall handbag (my favorite accessory).

Keeping my fingers crossed,
ScaryMom